Surgery is fast approaching...

As I sit here I am pressed for the thoughts that are in my head... My DH is havin the tumor removed on Wed,the 29th. I know it is going to be a long day for him, I know he is going to go through so much and I am so afraid... I know in my heart that he is going to be fine afterwards but for so reason I just can't let myself relax, it seems that I have this little reservation that is holding me back. I know I am going to have many there to support him, I am not so sure about me... there some that believe nothing I say... if I say what a gorgeous day it might be they would tell me they think it is going to rain... so I am a little on edge knowing those will be there, but it is for him and I just need to focus on him... I know that I can do this. I care so deeply about this man I married 31 years ago that anything thrown my way will be ok, I know that "U" are there with me & somehow it will all work out. I can't even imagine my life without my DH... we have been together more than 1/2 of my life and since 2009 we have both been retired and we are together every single day... not often are we apart, so not havin him is NOT an option. We have had to work to keep things together... everyday is a new day so we try not to ever go to bed upset at each other... sometimes it is hard but we try to work it out before the day is over, because there are no guarantees that you can have another day to work it out. At the end of the day was it really that bad to allow you to get so upset... probably not...I guess where I was trying to go with all this is enjoy everyday, make as many memories as you can and never take advantage those that you love!! I remember thinking along time ago i didn't have anything to worry about because "he isn't going anywhere..." well, how naive I was to that way... goodness was I living in a bubble or what. Now I see the importance of always saying "I Love You " often... be appreciative of what others do for you and don't take for granted that you will have another chance...
I have lost people that were special to me, I didn't think it was ever going to happen to me... well it did! So, everyday I tell myself to be the best that I can...
I have made so many mistakes in my life, I am so far from perfect... I guess I have learned so many things from all of my flubs... I don't actually regret everything but maybe I wish I would have approached a few things a little differently but do I regret them ... no. I have tried to make peace with myself and move forward and be a better person. I know that only I am accountable for the things I do, so if I can live with whatever I decide to do, then I am ok... I give everything to God and I pray that by choosing to follow his words i know everything is going to be ok..
I go side tracked there for a few but bottom line is I Love My DH & I ask for everyone to say a prayer for him as he is going into the next step in his journey. I pray for his pain to be minimal, I pray for the tumor to be removed with out any complications, I pray for his recovery to be fast and smooth, I pray that he can get through the changes and be able to do what is a head of him... I thanks each of you that has already said a prayer, given him a thought...I pray for continued support for him and for the love from God to get us through this difficult time... Love to all...
I will post again after his surgery to let everyone know how things go.(((HUGS)))

I Know It Was U...

Today as I was working around the house I felt like someone was the with me.
I continued on working, doing my housework, laundry...as I scurried around I continued to feel something... I felt the presence of someone, but I was home alone... I tried to ignore the feeling, but the harder I tried the stronger the feeling. So, I decided to just talk... I talked about all the things that are weighing heavy on my mind. I mean I really talked, cried & talked some more. I was at one point waiting to get an answer to some of what I had said... I really thought I was going to get an answer... I guess I did because I began to feel so much easier, or shall i say less stressed and began to see things more of what they are and about to be. I was as if I were calmed, very hard to describe. I still have many things on my mind but today I talked to U, I think... actually I know that I can get through this that is in front of us ... because... I know it was you.... <3