"Can I Be Frank With You?"

This was written by my niece to help us understand her feeling about her current situation and how she coped with knowing cancer would in fact take her life one day. Enjoy her words as she would not have wanted anymore tears...


"Can I be Frank with You?"- Written by Chevon Jackson....
Share
Today at 11:11am
March 3, 2009 - Tuesday
"Can I be Frank with you?"......
Current mood: chipper
"Okay, but can I still be Garth?" I love that movie...

Anyways. I havent blogged in a while. Things get hectic around here, my brain doesnt function on GO all the time, I do crazy things, misplace things, lose money, say weird things.. WOW, its probably funny for those around me, but do I ever feel stupid sometimes.

But let me tell you, I have never been the religous type. but lately I find myself quietly thanking god for each day I wake up. I feel thankful to wake up healthy (well no NEW issues).. I am thankful that my kids and husband wake up and they are healthy. At the end of the day I am thankful that we made it throuh the day and nothing tramatic or life altering happened. I am thankful for every minute I get to spend with ANYONE. Not just my kids and my hubby, but EVERYONE.

I plan on seriously living each day to the fullest. Even though that may consist of not getting dressed or leaving the house, we sit and eat as a family and I try my hardest to listen to Gabe talk to me for hours.. When an opportunity comes up to take the kids someplace that might possibly make a memory, I do it. We went to the circus yesterday, and even though I wanted to scream a little everytime Gabe asked to ride the elephant (which was about 83 times in 20 minutes), and I cringed when Nodin dumped my coach purse 2 times onto the nasty dirty sticky pop spillaged floor.... We made memories. Miingan sat, sickly ( he has sinus issues) for hours waiting to watch the dirtbike riders, and Joaquin has never paid so much attention to anything in his life. And the look on Gabes goofy face riding the elephant (2 times) is priceless....

I refuse to let Cancer take over my life like it has my brain/mind. I cant stop myself from thinking about the what ifs.. and the whens... I secretly drive myself crazy daily, but its brief and I move on. In my heart I know Cancer will kill me, but I refuse to let that be before I am ready. and I will not be ready until I know that I have done all the things I need to do.

Is this blog Frank enough for you?? :)

My point is, live for NOW.. Be thankful for each and everyday, every blessing in those days... Nobody knows what the future holds, so dont wait til "later" to do anything. Do it now.. Take lots of pictures, tell lots of stories... Show someone something that they will always remember. Let your kids sleep on your bedroom floor... Just be thankful, grateful and willing to LIVE LOVE AND LAUGH.